Humor & Satire

Humor satire, parody and mocking are contained in this group of exhibits. The safety violations, though dangerous, are so outlandish that they must give way to humor and are included for that reason. Enjoy. Yes, stupidity, like quicksand, has no bottom.

Exhibit 1 Ballad of Big Ho. My apologies to Jimmy Dean.

Exhibit 2 Ballad of Sixteen Tons. Apologies to Tennessee Ernie Ford.

Exhibit 3 Wreck of Store 0884. Apologies to Gordon Lightfoot.

Exhibits 4 – 6 Bo Peep shaking down the coin bin to find the last penny. You will note she is more than determined. Yes, she did get the last penny too!

Exhibit 7 Multiple supervisors on the same shift huddled up oblivious to customers or regular registers. A not uncommon occurrence. Writer left to run the register with no employee assistance. Must not interrupt those hens cackling!

Exhibit 8 What happens frequently in the store when no one owns their jobs and management simply is blind. Customers are at risk and housekeeping resembles a pig stye. Mocking core values once again.

Exhibit 9 Desolate drink machine in sad need of filling on Memorial Day Weekend.

Exhibit 10 Scheduling a cashier beyond 9 PM store closing. No customers to checkout an hour later!

Exhibit 11 Use a suggestion box but do not speak!

Exhibit 12 Deep-rooted conviction Depot practices in regards to clean and attractive garbage units. This garbage can had not been emptied for four days at the time this picture was taken. I stood upwind and emptied after taking this photo.

Exhibit 13 Cashier’s waste can They are supposed to empty when full. It is five feet to the place where they are to carry and empty.

Exhibit 14 Water spraying fan put on top of a flimsy bucket. Note the indoor extension cord. Safety is just as important at Depot as housecleaning. I know because their monthly indoctrination er I mean training says so.

Exhibit 15 Cashier’s garbage can again unemptied. I did empty after taking this picture. Rats might have been taking up residency!

Exhibit 16 Dangling gray wire not properly tied off inside the store. The noose is hanging over the cash registers. I called it a partial hangman’s noose and my neck tightened each time I was working under it. Decatur is only fifty miles due west of the railroad trestle and Scottsboro Boys lynching. A silent signal from management?

Exhibit 17 Electric space heater in Garden sitting on a Home Depot plastic bucket with non-complying electrical wiring. Add water and you have a perfect storm. Knock it over and watch flesh burn. Again the commitment to safety is a core value.

Exhibit 18 picture taken middle of Saturday afternoon, The aisle to several rows almost entirely blocked. Several employees in Lumber walked around and ignored it. I moved it out of the way after taking the picture.

Exhibit 19 Jesse, a cashier, arranged all the suckers by color. The vendor said stop as they believed it hurt sales. You must be kidding.

Exhibit 20 is a light fixture that remained burn out for over three months located over the PRO desk. Just like the exterior lights on the book cover. Well at least they are consistent.

Exhibit 21 A Lowes truck in a Depot parking lot. Customers asked which store were they entering. I told them Depot had acquired Lowes. They believed me.

Exhibit 22 A mobile ladder blocked half the main aisle. After the picture was taken the employee returned with an American flag and placed it on the step ladder. Maybe it was an Iwo Jima moment.

Exhibit 23. Mat placed over non-conforming electrical line that created a serious slip and trip hazard. One aged employee fell over it and was injured. Complete OSHA violation but hey do you think either one cares much less matters. OSHA in a Home Depot store? Now that is a funny thought.

Exhibits 24 and 25 are more of the same. Tape was used to prevent the cashier form moving the unsafe mats out of the way. The hump caused by the electrical lines never was corrected.

Example 26. Another example of multiple supervisors schedules overlapping and using the overlap to gather as a gander. I had to work. It was busy at the register when this picture was taken. No help forthcoming. Hey, is this a well-run store or what?

Exhibit 27 Drink cart abandoned at PRO where customers must then navigate to reach drinks in the cooler. Combined with the buggy full of returns and you a massive housekeeping snafu exists.

Exhibit 28 Example of the attention to detail and excellence practiced by many employees in the store. They also have a driver’s license. Think about it.

Exhibit 29 Always great to see heavy pallets leaned up against a trailer in this manner. Poster material for the never happening safety campaign.

Exhibit 30 Outdoor parking lot lights not quite working. Lot resembled a coal bin often at night as this picture attests. Safety for employees? Surely you jest.

Exhibits 31 and 32 complete the parking lot sweep. As you approach the neighboring store note they do provide maintenance and lights.

Exhibit 33 Some things just defy description.

Exhibit 34. Nice directions but only about 3 out of a hundred reduced price tags ever work. The original SKU usually showed the reduced price and was used instead of waiting for an employee in the department to possibly make a correction that worked. Management knew all about the problem and did nothing as usual. I mean hey they do not have to deal with it or the customer trying to pay for it. Commitment to customer was job one for management, right?

Exhibit 35. Returns piled in a buggy and abandoned. How things are done at Store 0884.

Exhibit 36. Another heater placed on top of a plastic bucket, At least this one located inside the store.

Exhibit 37. Instead of returns simply abandon equipment, inventory, and pallet where customers can easily fall over.

Exhibit 38 Covid red virus shield that had been cracked for over eight months but was not replaced nor removed from Garden.

Exhibits 39 and 40. These deal with a sale offer the registers did not accept. The answer was to cover up the sale!

Exhibit 41 speaks for itself and probably an example of prescription induced dementia of some kind.

Exhibit 42 Some nights at least two of the letters work. That was a good night.

Exhibit 43 After three days you would think at least one employee might do something. I did. I took a picture.